san salvador missions – Page 3 – #LivinLaVidaRamirez

Keep My Eyes Above the Waves

November 25, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

ashley_blog-above-the-waves

It came and it went – 4 weeks in Colorado for missionary training was jam-packed full of language learning, culture learning and lots and lots of life learning. I was blessed to make friends with 29 other adults and 16 kiddos (all under the age of 7 going with their parents) headed to the international mission field. My time out west was a beautiful time of growth and restoration. I had spent 5 long months raising support and needed the time to relax.

While I was in Colorado, Reliant (my missionary sending agency) blessed me with their highly coveted “Hallelujah Call,” releasing me to assignment in San Salvador. I spent much of my free time scouring the internet for the perfectly timed flight with the perfectly placed window seat. Not quite finding what I wanted, I came home without my much sought after one-way flight. As it turns out, God was hiding it from me for a reason.

As many of you know, it has been my “big, bold prayer” from the beginning to be able to move to San Salvador by the end of December so that I could join their youth group in Honduras for Infinito, an annual youth conference for Central American youth. But what began as a huge prayer, deceptively turned into a huge goal. Praying for something big means knowing that the only way it can happen is with God’s intervention. Working towards a huge goal means knowing that it’s highly unlikely, but if you work hard enough, you can achieve it. I unknowingly had begun to take over control from God.

Over the past 3 days, I have come to realize that God is going to answer my big, bold prayer in a different way. Even though I have checked off all of the necessary boxes in order to be released to San Salvador, God has more work to do in my spirit and in my heart. After many honest and vulnerable conversations between Reliant, Pastor Victor in San Salvador, Rock City Church, and myself, we have all decided that it is best for everyone if I spend a little more time stateside before moving internationally.

One of the lasting lessons I learned in Colorado is that in life, we will have “Yay Ducks” and we will have “Yuck Ducks.” Yay Ducks are the good things that happen in our lives – things we are joyful about and thankful for. Yuck Ducks are the opposite – things that don’t go as planned, bumps in the road, moments that make it hard to be joyful. Life is full of Yay Ducks and Yuck Ducks. When you have both of them, as we all do, you have a pair of ducks…a pairaducks…a paradox.

{pause for eye roll and forced laughter}

Life is a paradox. I’ve heard it said before that if you want the rainbow, you’ve gotta tolerate the rain. In the midst of my troubles, I must see the joys. Deciding to extend my move date has been one of the fieriest trials God has allowed me to walk. It has taken me more than 48 hours to believe it, but God is in the midst of all this. He has still called me to mission work in San Salvador and He has not left my side. He knows that it is better for me to stay here a little while longer, building my faith muscle, than to go and have to come back because I wasn’t as ready as I could have been.

I will spend the upcoming weeks strengthening that faith muscle by learning to trust God in the midst of the unknown. God created me to be a Type A planner, but as many people know, life doesn’t always go according to plan. God is going to build up my “be still and wait” muscles as I attempt to do just that – be still and wait for His next move.

I will continue to work with Rock City Youth (HUGE Yay Duck!) to prepare myself for work in youth ministry in San Salvador. When asked what I will miss most about home, the answer is without a doubt Rock City Youth. Those kids fill my spirit with life and I believe that any extra time with them is the closest I will get to absolute joy this side of Heaven.

If you’ve ever been to the mission field, you know that one of the most important qualities you can possess as a missionary is flexibility. For better or for worse, things rarely go as planned and it is my job to remain flexible. Changing timelines are a perfectly normal facet of mission work. I have had story after story recounted to me over the past two days of missionaries who thought they were leaving in a month, which turned into 2 weeks, which turned into 7 weeks…they all eventually got to the mission field, but it was only after a season of flexibility.

During this time, I ask for your continued prayerful support. Trusting God is a moment by moment decision that has been made especially difficult in this time of uncertainty. What we can all be certain about is that I am going to San Salvador, we just don’t know when quite yet. I promise to keep everyone updated as things are made clearer.

When I prayed “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,” this isn’t exactly what I expected, but God knows what He’s doing. He’s never failed me and He won’t start now.

If These Walls Could Talk

September 23, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

In a few short months, I will be moving from a 1500 square-foot home in Columbus into a 10′ x 8′ bedroom in San Salvador. So, just about everything in my home, known to many as The Barbie Dream House, must go. Because I will be very blessed to live with Pastor Victor, his wife Silvia and their two children when I move to San Salvador, my list of necessities abroad is fairly short.

One of my best friends, Amanda, and her husband Josh offered to allow me to pair up with their annual neighborhood yard sale and sell all my “fabulous crap” this past weekend.

At first, the idea of purging all my material goods and basically starting over felt therapeutic. In my 30 years of life, I have collected quite a few things that, although they may represent an important memory, are mostly unneeded trinkets. And then there’s my wardrobe. I was more than happy to sacrifice my winter attire, but there were a number of miniskirts and dresses that faced some resistance and barely made it to the “SELL” box. And my shoe collection! Such beauty! But somehow, I just don’t think that 5″ stilettos added to my 5’10” frame will be my footwear of choice in Central America.

Into the “SELL” boxes went planters, photo frames, blankets, stuffed animals, an electric mixer, drinking glasses, champagne flutes, a pretzel costume, purses, a marching band plume, an assortment of bellybutton rings, three adult fleece onesies…and the list goes on. Into the Uhaul went my dining room table, kitchen table, coffee table (jeesh…how many tables does one girl need??), futon, a 6′ tall light fixture, a rug and an 8′ tall pink Christmas tree (like you’re surprised that I would have a 8′ tall pink Christmas tree).

FullSizeRender Finally, this past Saturday morning, a Uhaul and three SUV’s filled with my belongings descended upon Amanda and Josh’s yard. With the help of a number of friends, we survived the early morning birds, a few insistent hagglers, and a smattering yard sale crazies. The things that didn’t sell either went on the “FREE!” table or back in the Uhaul for better luck elsewhere.

I came home to my mostly empty house. But it didn’t actually feel empty – not yet. My bedroom still has the bed and dressers, and until last night, the living room still had a couch, ottoman, and television. The couch had been claimed by friends of friends and wasn’t getting picked up until three days after the yard sale – last night.

While I was out sharing my San Salvador story, a friend was at my home picking up my couch and ottoman. I knew that I would be coming home to an empty living room.

And that changed everything.

When you walk into my home, you walk into the living room. Stepping foot inside a room that was once filled with furniture and personal possessions, but was now empty, was a blow to my heart. As I walked into my house, the wind was knocked out of me and tears escaped without opposition.

This is getting real.

I am at 83% of my fundraising goal. Most likely, by mid-December, I will be headed to San Salvador indefinitely. I don’t know if I will ever be emotionally ready to go, but I am excited to get there and begin fulfilling God’s call on my life – working with Salvadoran youth. But along with that excitement comes true sadness. I am leaving the only life I have ever known behind. I am leaving my dad, my dog, and friends who have been my lifeline. I am leaving a home that has been my refuge in sorrow through the death of my mother and breakups too numbered to count; a home with walls that have seen joyful celebrations and know better than to repeat the secrets divulged within.

I may have said this before and I know I will say it again – this move is truly bittersweet. I am leaving a life that I have loved and nurtured for a life of the unknown. But the unknown is where I am called. I spent most of my 20s not knowing what I was supposed to be doing with my life and trying to figure it out for myself. But as soon as I turned it all over to God, He took control and spoke to my heart. For 15 months, I have known that I am meant to be serving the youth in San Salvador.

The great thing about hearts is that there is always room inside for more – more love, more memories, more God. These past eight years in The Barbie Dream House will forever have a place in my heart. With each passing day, more memories are brought to light, admired for the part they played in my life, and are gently tucked away in the folds of my heart. I eagerly await for the day when my heart swells with memories of a life lived loving God and loving His people. My home may be growing barer, but my heart is growing fuller.

I Have Agreed to Go.

June 2, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

This past Friday, May 29th, 2015, was my last day as a classroom teacher. Now, when people ask me what I do for a job, I can say, “I am training to be a full-time missionary in San Salvador!” My 5 years in education are ones that I will hold in my heart as some of the most challenging times of my life. Will I miss teaching? Maybe someday. Today, I thank God for every second in the classroom because each day I spent teaching was a day closer to discovering God’s true call on my life and I will never regret any of it.

Unfortunately, my heart was never in teaching students inside a classroom. I am sure that anyone that worked in a school with me could see that. I have known for a few years now that teaching was not my passion. But I didn’t know what was. And I wasn’t about to quit a good paying job with 2 weeks Christmas break, 1 week off in the spring and 3 months of summer vacation unless I had figured out what I was really created to do.

Last summer, I took a step of faith and spent 9 days in San Salvador on a mission trip with my church, Rock City. In was then that I felt God’s call on my life and heard His whisper in my heart that I was to go to San Salvador, strengthen their youth and point them towards Him. Since then, I have found my heart in mentoring teenagers in a way that doesn’t require essays or novels. Anyone who has spent just a few moments watching me work with youth outside the classroom can see that is where I come alive!

The past 5 years were certainly not a waste. I truly believe that God takes all of our life circumstances and, if we let Him, uses them for our good and for His glory. Each of my days in the classroom was a day of training for Youth Ministry in San Salvador. I have worked with some of the most frustrating students in the city. And now, none of them scares me or can begin to convince me that they don’t have potential and purpose. I have worked with some of the sweetest students in the city. And now, I know how to cover them with God’s love and teach them how to love others. I have been cussed at with language I wouldn’t have ever used as a teenager. I now know their foul words are simply a sword defending a broken heart. I have been surrounded by successful, passionate and dedicated teachers that have gone out of their way to support me. They have shown me the importance of building up those around me and giving grace to people who want to help, but just need some guidance.

3 days later, I am now sitting on the floor of the Port Columbus International Airport. I am patiently awaiting my delayed flight to Orlando for 8 days of intense fundraising training with Reliant Ministries (formerly Great Commission Ministries). I am excited to finally have many of my questions about fundraising answered (namely, exactly how much I have to raise), but I also anticipate many anxiety-riddled moments, questioning just what I have agreed to do.

I have agreed to follow God’s call. I have agreed to trust that money is the least of God’s problems. I have agreed to go.

In my moments of overwhelmation (that should seriously be a word), I will remember why I agreed to those things. Because life outside of God’s will is no life at all. Believe me. I’ve tried it the other way. I will recite to myself God’s promise to me:

I have made you and

I will carry you;

I will sustain you and

I will rescue you.

Today is a giant step towards my new life in San Salvador. I leave the comfort of knowing exactly what is ahead for me and exchange it for taking step after step in blind faith. God will get me to San Salvador. It might not be in my timing or within my plan, but He will do it.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

Answer.

April 29, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

God knows me so well. He knows my strengths (outgoing, determined, singing off key with abandon) and he knows my weaknesses (patience, control freak, singing off key with abandon). These past few weeks, He has been beefing up my patience muscle.

On April 2nd, 2015, I completed the final step in the arduous application process for Great Commission Ministries (GCM), the company that will be sending me as a missionary to Sal Salvador. This final step was a phone interview with Cori, a GCM employee specializing in International Missions. At the start of the conversation, Cori let me know that GCM would inform me of their hiring decision around April 20th. This was 18 days, almost three weeks later. Okay Patience. Time to show ’em what we’ve got! I told her that was fine, as long as I had time to register for the June New Employee training by the April 30th deadline.

26 days later, with patience just about parched and anxiety fully settled in, I heaved my trust onto God. He will supply me with what I need, when I need it. BUT GOD, IT’S ALMOST THE 30TH, I NEED IT NOOOOOW! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING UP THERE?! My mantra became “Mustard seed of faith…I just need a tiny mustard seed of faith…”

With 48 hours to spare before the registration deadline, I received my job offer at 11:56pm on April 28th.

Guys. I’M GOING TO SAN SALVADOR!

San Salvador? Really? Where is that exactly? South America, right? Is it miserably hot there? Does anyone there speak English?

Why do you have to go all the way THERE to do mission work when there’s work to be done in your own backyard?

I concede that moving to San Salvador to be a full-time missionary doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. My family and friends are here. My job is here. I’ve earned the trust and precious relationships with a handful of Rock City Youth girls here. I don’t speak much Spanish. San Salvador is dangerous. And if I want to do good work for God, why do I have to leave the country to do it? Why can’t I just stay in the US and serve my own country?

Because of childlike wonder.

Because of little girl giggles.

Because of the fire and potential of a generation.

Because when God calls, you answer. As I stood on the futbol field of Colegio Ceren in June 2014, I knew God was calling me there. I have always known that I was made for more than teaching in a classroom, but I couldn’t figure out what. It was at that moment that I heard God’s gentle, but stern whisper. San Salvador Youth. 4 years of teaching and 7 years of church-hopping had led me to that place. God finally had my attention.

It is absolutely true that there is much work to be done in the city of Columbus, my home. But just because my hometown youth need a little TLC doesn’t mean that God has called me to stay here. To some, he instructs to stay.

If you stay in this land, I will build you up and not tear you down; I will plant you and not uproot you.. {Jeremiah 42:10}

To others, He commands to get up and go.

And He said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” {Luke 7:14 NKJV}

I am a believer in Christ and as such, I am required to follow Him. I have spent too many years of my life not following Christ and I am done wasting my time. It is my time to rise and follow. In the words of Christine Caine, I am “the church of Jesus Christ on the earth today, the visible representation of an invisible God. I have the Holy Spirit living within me and have been commissioned to shine His love in the midst of a dark world.”

As a missionary to San Salvador, my heart beats for God’s people. I will run into the darkness and shine Christ’s light. My arms are open to the poor because Jesus tells us “…whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” {Matthew 25:40}

Above all, I am a Missionary to San Salvador because I am Jesus’ hands and feet here on Earth. He has entrusted me with the divine responsibility of loving and caring for His people. For the first time in my life, I know for certain that this is what God wants from me and I am living out the purpose for which He created me.

When God calls, you must answer.

I answered and I am going.

If I proclaim the Message, it’s not to get something out of it for myself.

I’m compelled to do it and doomed if I don’t! {1 Corinthians 9:16 (MSG)}

^✝As for when I am going, that is to be determined. I must go to 2 trainings and raise my financial support before I can go anywhere. MY bold prayer is to be there by the end of December, in time for Infinito, a Youth Conference in Honduras that the San Salvador Youth attend every year. I think that could be an amazing and powerful way to start my ministry. I realize that if that happens, it will be all God’s doing. But all things, especially those beyond my wildest imagination, are possible with God.

I Want to Help

April 11, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

10 months ago, I reluctantly walked into a Salvadorian high school, unsure of what to expect from Central American teenagers and convinced that whatever happened that day, my presence there was meaningless.

It was the fourth day of Rock City Church’s June mission trip to San Salvador, El Salvador. I had signed up and gone on the trip because I felt God pulling at my heart and urging me to go. I wasn’t sure why God wanted me there – I don’t speak Spanish, little kids usually annoy me (the whole point of this trip was to serve the Children’s Development Center which our church helped fundraise and build), and it was the beginning of my favorite season back home. Even so, I trusted God’s tugging and ended up in San Salvador with about 15 other missionaries.

Up to that point on the trip, I had felt pretty useless. I wasn’t needed on the construction project at the Children’s Center. Every other missionary on the trip wanted to work with the little kids, so even if I did suck it up and offer to hang out with the tiny humans, there was no need for me. And the small kitchen didn’t have space for one more clueless-in-the-kitchen “gringa.”

When the offer came to go to a local, private high school, Colegio Ceren, I refused to volunteer. I teach high school Language Arts 9 months out of the year, so being the first week of June, the last thing I wanted to do was surround myself with teenagers. But everyone else on the team already had their job and there was a desperate need for missionaries in the high school, so I agreed to go.

Our overall goal for the day at Colegio Ceren was to reach out to the students, share our stories with them and share the love of God with them through building relationships and telling them about God’s Word for us in the Bible. My job was to warm the students up to us through a hilarious game of “Conejo Gordo” (chubby bunny). The game requires participants to shove as many giant marshmallows as possible in their mouth and say the words “Conejo gordo” comprehensibility, without spitting out or swallowing the marshmallows.

I had no idea that this small activity would ignite a burst of flames in my heart for the youth of San Salvador. After a few hours with the teenagers, they had collectively stolen my heart. Even though I spoke very little Spanish and they spoke very little English, we were able to communicate and begin to connect (thank God for our amazing translators!!). I rode back to the hotel in our van with my mind swirling with visions of what my future would look like, because after that short day, I knew why God had taken me to San Salvador.

——

When I returned home to Ohio, I began reading news articles about all the teenagers who had left their home countries of Honduras, Guatemala, and San Salvador in hopes of a better life in the US. Most of these kids were fleeing an assured future of drug use, gang violence and poverty. But upon reaching US soil (if they were lucky enough to survive the trek), they were told they had to go back because 1) They were there illegally, 2) They were minors, and 3) They were without parents.

When I read these articles, my mind was immediately transposed back to San Salvador. I had met teenagers fighting against all odds to not become another statistic for their hopeless and purposeless generation. My heart cried out to them, needing to do more. Sure, every dollar sent there from my paycheck helps and going on mission trips gets my hands dirty and impacts lives. But I knew I needed to do MORE. I needed to be there, in the thick of it, building relationships, sharing God’s love and impacting lives.

—–

Now, 10 months later, my heart is still yearning for San Salvador. I have gone on a total of 2 mission trips with Rock City Church and spent another 11 days in San Salvador getting a taste of what daily life is like when I’m not on a mission trip with all of my needs taken care of.

My goal is to move to San Salvador around this time next year. Ideally, I will work with the youth group of Rock City Church’s partner church, Iglesia Gran Comision San Salvador. Too many Salvadorian teenagers give in to their culture’s low expectations of them. But they are a talented, able and resourced generation capable of changing those views and impacting the world around them.

And I want to help.