Keep My Eyes Above the Waves

November 25, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

ashley_blog-above-the-waves

It came and it went – 4 weeks in Colorado for missionary training was jam-packed full of language learning, culture learning and lots and lots of life learning. I was blessed to make friends with 29 other adults and 16 kiddos (all under the age of 7 going with their parents) headed to the international mission field. My time out west was a beautiful time of growth and restoration. I had spent 5 long months raising support and needed the time to relax.

While I was in Colorado, Reliant (my missionary sending agency) blessed me with their highly coveted “Hallelujah Call,” releasing me to assignment in San Salvador. I spent much of my free time scouring the internet for the perfectly timed flight with the perfectly placed window seat. Not quite finding what I wanted, I came home without my much sought after one-way flight. As it turns out, God was hiding it from me for a reason.

As many of you know, it has been my “big, bold prayer” from the beginning to be able to move to San Salvador by the end of December so that I could join their youth group in Honduras for Infinito, an annual youth conference for Central American youth. But what began as a huge prayer, deceptively turned into a huge goal. Praying for something big means knowing that the only way it can happen is with God’s intervention. Working towards a huge goal means knowing that it’s highly unlikely, but if you work hard enough, you can achieve it. I unknowingly had begun to take over control from God.

Over the past 3 days, I have come to realize that God is going to answer my big, bold prayer in a different way. Even though I have checked off all of the necessary boxes in order to be released to San Salvador, God has more work to do in my spirit and in my heart. After many honest and vulnerable conversations between Reliant, Pastor Victor in San Salvador, Rock City Church, and myself, we have all decided that it is best for everyone if I spend a little more time stateside before moving internationally.

One of the lasting lessons I learned in Colorado is that in life, we will have “Yay Ducks” and we will have “Yuck Ducks.” Yay Ducks are the good things that happen in our lives – things we are joyful about and thankful for. Yuck Ducks are the opposite – things that don’t go as planned, bumps in the road, moments that make it hard to be joyful. Life is full of Yay Ducks and Yuck Ducks. When you have both of them, as we all do, you have a pair of ducks…a pairaducks…a paradox.

{pause for eye roll and forced laughter}

Life is a paradox. I’ve heard it said before that if you want the rainbow, you’ve gotta tolerate the rain. In the midst of my troubles, I must see the joys. Deciding to extend my move date has been one of the fieriest trials God has allowed me to walk. It has taken me more than 48 hours to believe it, but God is in the midst of all this. He has still called me to mission work in San Salvador and He has not left my side. He knows that it is better for me to stay here a little while longer, building my faith muscle, than to go and have to come back because I wasn’t as ready as I could have been.

I will spend the upcoming weeks strengthening that faith muscle by learning to trust God in the midst of the unknown. God created me to be a Type A planner, but as many people know, life doesn’t always go according to plan. God is going to build up my “be still and wait” muscles as I attempt to do just that – be still and wait for His next move.

I will continue to work with Rock City Youth (HUGE Yay Duck!) to prepare myself for work in youth ministry in San Salvador. When asked what I will miss most about home, the answer is without a doubt Rock City Youth. Those kids fill my spirit with life and I believe that any extra time with them is the closest I will get to absolute joy this side of Heaven.

If you’ve ever been to the mission field, you know that one of the most important qualities you can possess as a missionary is flexibility. For better or for worse, things rarely go as planned and it is my job to remain flexible. Changing timelines are a perfectly normal facet of mission work. I have had story after story recounted to me over the past two days of missionaries who thought they were leaving in a month, which turned into 2 weeks, which turned into 7 weeks…they all eventually got to the mission field, but it was only after a season of flexibility.

During this time, I ask for your continued prayerful support. Trusting God is a moment by moment decision that has been made especially difficult in this time of uncertainty. What we can all be certain about is that I am going to San Salvador, we just don’t know when quite yet. I promise to keep everyone updated as things are made clearer.

When I prayed “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,” this isn’t exactly what I expected, but God knows what He’s doing. He’s never failed me and He won’t start now.

Psalm 62v8

October 29, 2015October 29, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

It’s only Day 4 at MTI, and I’ve already had language breakthroughs and emotional breakdowns. And He is in it all. Praise God.

Stand Amazed

October 27, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

I am sitting in the cozy lobby of Mission Training International in scenic Palmer Lake, Colorado, and my mind is finally still. Life has been a tornado of chaos the past few weeks, but Jesus has come in and calmed the storm.

When I began raising support for my full-time mission work in San Salvador at the beginning of June, I prayed big and I prayed boldly that God would bring in 100% of my monthly support by the time I left for a month of culture training in October.

Well folks, as I said, I am now in Colorado and have been since 9am Sunday morning (I came a day early to visit my dear, sweet friend Heather). At 7pm Saturday night, with a mere 11 hours to go, God decided to show off His power and faith by bringing in exactly 100.0% of my financial, monthly support!

WE DID IT!

I truly could not have done this without the provision of a good God and without my faithful supporters. Whether through prayers, hugs, words of encouragement, money, or all of the above, so many of you have been a part of my team. YOU are Ashley’s Amigos!

Thank you.

With this huge accomplishment comes the privilege of buying a one-way plane ticket to San Salvador…once Reliant double checks all my financial gifts {fingers crossed}! This is a huge step towards getting me to San Salvador to spread God’s love and instill hope in the lost and fearful.

“Look…and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe, even if you were told..”
Habakkuk 1v5

I stand completely and thoroughly amazed at God’s provision. Cuan grande es Dios. He has calmed my storm.

When I left for Colorado, not only did I have to be packed for a month of training, but I needed to be completely moved out of my home because my renters will move in while I am here. This meant packing for Colorado, packing for San Salvador, packing for the time in Columbus between Colorado and San Salvador, and selling or donating anything and everything in my house that wasn’t going to my mission field. As many of you read about, can imagine, or possibly personally witnessed, this was a chaotic time for me.

JPEG image-C12CA73936D4-1 — *“Your room was green??” – Olivia Shank*

But here I am, in Colorado, with everything packed up back home and an empty house ready for her new tenants. Cuan grande es Dios. He has calmed my storm.

Colorado is beautiful and the Mission Training International (MTI) Center is going to be a home away from home for the next month. I have my own room, very similar to a hotel room. I brought my Salvadoran blanket, family photos, and my favorite candle. I love that I have my own little space with just a little more than the necessities for the next 4 weeks. As crazy as my life has been, I am craving simplicity.

The MTI Center is not only where 30 international missionaries will be living for the next month, but it is also where our training sessions are held and where we enjoy daily meals together. Everything is housed in one building. Simplicity.

I am looking forward to the weeks of separation here in Colorado. I am separated from the commotion of life back home – support raising, packing and moving, Rock City Youth, family, friends – these are all wonderful, beautiful blessings, but I need a little more distance between me and my life and a lot less distance between me and my God. I hope to spend much of my time here finding rest in God’s embrace and praising Him for His infinite provision. Cuan grande es Dios. He has calmed my storm.

ps…in case you missed it, I cut my hair, a la Taylor Swift 😉

Calm My Storm

October 15, 2015 Ashley Ramírez1 Comment

My life is chaotic. There is not one room in my home that doesn’t look me in the eyes and berate me with a tirade of to-do list items. I am overwhelmed to the point of standstill.

In exactly 10 days, I must be completely, 100% moved out of my home. On October 25th at 6am, I fly to Colorado for 4 weeks of cultural, international missionary training. On November 1st, while I am gone, the first of my two renters moves in. I am simultaneously maniacally deciding which of my life mementos I want to keep, packing for Colorado, packing for San Salvador and attempting to continue raising support so that I can get to San Salvador and begin walking out God’s call on my life. Oh, and at 8am this morning, I had my right eye tweaked (not to be confused with twerked. Nothing ever needs twerked. Ever.) and “re-lasered” because, although it was much better, my vision wasn’t quite perfect after my Lasik procedure 2 months ago.

My life is chaotic.

I have so much to do, just a few days to do it in, and yet I find myself sitting at my borrowed table (the only item of furniture left in my home is my bed), scrolling through Facebook for minutes on end. “Netflix and chill” is not longer a reward for a day of hard work – it has become an escape from the hundreds of things needing to be done in my life. After reading status after status about people actually doing things with their days, this becomes my thought process:

Do I go through my hundreds of earrings or do I sort through my office supplies? Will I need envelopes in San Salvador? I should keep these earrings – Mom bought them for me when she went on that one trip and now she will never be able to buy me earrings ever again. I wish mom were here. This is hard. I literally can’t even right now. Just ONE episode of Friends while I basic white girl out with my coffee with pumpkin creamer and pumpkin bagel with pumpkin cream cheese. Do they even have pumpkin flavored things in San Salvador? Awwwwww this is my last season of pumpkin flavored everything! Just one more episode. CRAP! There is so much to do and I’m not doing any of it! This will never get done!

Amidst all the turbulence in my life, I have become like Jesus’ disciples in the boat during a raging storm. Water is sloshing into the boat. Waves are threatening their buoyancy. It is dark and the land has disappeared. Jesus somehow sleeps through this turmoil, and His disciples awake him and clamor,

Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?

That, my friends, is where I don’t want to find myself – crying out to Jesus, HELLLOOOOO??? Do you even care that I am drowning here?? Rooms remain unpacked, my fine things are piled up to be sold in yard sales, my memories scattered to the wind…yet I know that Jesus is here among the disarray. I know that He is using all this disorder to teach me things about my own character and His. I know that Jesus is holding my flustered cheeks in His mighty hands, and as my eyes dart from room to room, from item to item on my to-list, He patiently whispers, Hey! Hey! Look at me! and when my eyes are finally able to focus on His eyes, Jesus asks of me,

My sweet girl, why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?

I am forced to ask this of myself – why AM I afraid? Am I afraid that God won’t get me to San Salvador? Am I afraid that I won’t pack the right things? Am I afraid that if I forfeit a memento to the trash that my memory of that moment will be forfeited as well? Because my answer is yes to each of those fears and so many more, I can only have faith. Without faith that God WILL get me to San Salvador, provide me with all that I need and fill my spirit with memories of my previous life, without that faith, my ship will founder. I will give into living in fear. I must have faith.

And as if in an attempt to remind me why I have faith in Him, Jesus draws me close and calms my storm. It is in the arms of my Savior that I am able to exhale, let go, and trust in Him.

Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm.¹

¹ Mark 4v35-40

September 2015 Update

September 30, 2015September 30, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

Highlights

Dewey’s Birthday
Yard Sale
Signed up for COMPASS Culture Training
Hillsong Concert
23.5% increase in 5 weeks

Hola Hola, amigos!

Our Ohio summer was too short for my liking! I suppose it’s a good thing I am moving to the land of eternal summer – San Salvador! September was a little less busy than August, but that’s not to say that the month wasn’t filled with fun and God continuing to do amazing things in my support raising adventure!

At the beginning of the month, my sweet little Dewdlebug turned FIVE! For the past five years, this little dog has been my comforter in sadness, my keeper of secrets and the joy of my days. Adopted after my mother passed away from cancer, Dewey’s initial role in my life was to lure me out of bed each morning to make sure my little puppy had a happy life. As the years have passed, he has added more happiness to my life than I could ever add to his! Where will Dewey live when you leave?? Alas, I cannot take the Dewster with me to San Salvador. Believe me, it’s almost enough reason not to move. Almost. Dewey will move into Tom’s Steakhouse, aka, Dad’s House. He will be loved on, walked daily, and fed the finest meat Weiland’s Market can provide. I know that Dewey will be in good hands with my dad.

Just like I can’t take Dewey with me down south, I certainly can’t take all of my belongings either! Amanda and her husband Josh graciously allowed me to team up with them for their annual neighborhood yard sale and sell most of the Barbie Dream House’s glamorous merchandise and fabulous crap! I was able to sell (after some exhausting haggling) my dining room table, kitchen table, futon, a handful of books and movies, some of my Ashley BC (Before Christ) wardrobe, a mini fridge and even my 8 ft tall pink Christmas tree! After everything was either sold, thrown on the free table or packed back up for better luck elsewhere, I made an impressive $731.25!

Slowly but surely my home is emptying of all my material goods, and slowly but surely my heart is beginning to ache for this place that I have called home for eight crazy, beautiful years.

As part of my preparation for mission work in a foreign country, Reliant requires me to attend Mission Training International’s COMPASS training in Colorado for 4 weeks. It is there that I will prepare to leave my culture and enter into one possibly much different from my own. I will learn how to deal with culture shock and missing home, how to say a good goodbye to my friends and family, and receive Spanish lessons! Honestly, beyond that, I don’t really know what to expect from the COMPASS training. But Colorado is a gorgeous place, so I could be told to go there for just about any reason for a month, and I’m there!

But the most exciting part of this upcoming trip is that I will get to spend 24 hours with my high school best friend, Heather! After high school and college in Columbus, Heather confidently stated the “mountains called” to her. So she moved to Boulder, Colorado, fell in love and married a mountain man, had a couple mountain babies and lives the Colorado mountain life! I was blessed to be in her wedding in 2008 (on the side of a Colorado mountain, of course!) and visited again in the spring of 2010. I haven’t been back since and the last time I say my girl was in 2012! Needless to say, I am more than a little bit excited!

Before a missionary can register to go to COMPASS training, they must have acquired 80% of their monthly support commitments. A few weeks ago, with just about 65% committed, I took a step of faith that by the time training starts on October 26^th, I would be at 80% and registered. Being me, not ONLY did I register, but I booked a flight as well. Alright God, the ball’s in your court now!

This past Saturday night, I packed up my Honda CRV with a few friends and drove north to Canton, Ohio to see the Hillsong Worship team! If you have ever been to Rock City Church (my home church), chances are pretty good that we sang a Hillsong song. The group is based out of Australia and is now touring the country sharing their gift of worship. It was an amazing experience to sing my heart out to God as Hillsong played my favorite songs.

The highlight of the night was standing up front by the stage, arms up and soul surrendered to God asOceans resounded through the auditorium. There was something so powerful in pleading for God to “lead me where my trust is without borders…wherever He would call me” as Taya Smith belted her heart out. But…truth be told, I’d prefer to worship at home at Rock City Church, surrounded by people who have been encouraging me in this Salvadoran journey for over a year now, as Brooke, one of our Rock City singers, cries out to God on my behalf with her passionate, heart-piercing voice.

But yeah…Hillsong was pretty good ;)

ps…if you’ve never heard Oceans, do yourself a favor and set aside 8 minutes today to listen to this song and give your heart to God – again and again and again.

These past four months of building up my team of people who are going to be encouraging, praying and supporting me as I continue to prepare and eventually live in San Salvador have been a true opportunity for God to stretch out His arms and show me just what He can do when I surrender my life to him.

Before I can leave for San Salvador and begin doing God’s work with His people, I must reach 100% of my monthly support goal. Once I am in San Salvador working, I will be blessed to receive a salary through Reliant, made up of money from people who are eager and excited to financially support me. Most missionaries reach their goal in about 6 months to a year. I am boldly and brazenly praying for God to get me to 100% of my goal within 5 months. It is my goal to move down south in mid-December. The San Salvador youth group heads to Honduras for Infinito, a youth conference on December 26^th and I would love to join them. I see this as a wonderful way for me to kick off my ministry, create new friendships and solidify existing relationships.

God is good and God is able. As of clicking publish on this post, I am at 87.5% of my monthly goal! That is a 23.5% increase since my last update, a short five weeks ago! I am asking that God would bring in the remaining 12.5% by the time I leave for Colorado on October 25^th. By reaching 100% before the Colorado culture training, I can focus my attention on learning and when I return to Columbus on November 21^st, I can spend my last few weeks tying up loose ends, figuring out last minute logistics, packing and saying goodbye.

When I initially began this journey, I begged for God to not only shut doors if a move to San Salvador was not in His plans for me, but to shut them, lock them, Holy Spirit super glue them and put His shoulder into it because I will knock a door down if I want through. I was asking Him to make it blatantly obvious and near impossible for me to get to San Salvador if I was barreling down the wrong path.

But God hasn’t done that.

God has opened door after door and put amazing, generous people in my life. I am asking to raise another 12.5% in 5 weeks. I know God can do it and I am asking you to help. Monthly gifts can be in any amount – whatever gives your heart joy to give. You will be helping me share with Salvadoran youth that they won’t find their joy or their identity in neighborhood gangs and no boyfriend or girlfriend will ever love them the way Jesus loves them. This is important. It is our job to make Heaven full.

“Give generously to the poor, not grudgingly,
for the Lord your God will bless you in everything you do.”

Deuteronomy 15v10

Please consider giving. You can get set up in five minutes by clicking the “Give to the Cause” button under my photo or by going to reliant.org/ashley.arend

Please Pray:

That the Salvadoran youth are able to raise the funds needed to send each and every student to Infinito in December
That our own Rock City Youth kids would continue to build lifelong bonds with each other that strengthen them to go out in their worlds and be a light of God’s love
That I would have no trouble emptying the Barbie Dream House of the last few items taking up residency here
That God will continue to open the hearts and minds of each person I am blessed to share my story with

be cheerful no matter what // what pray all the time // thank God no matter what happens.

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If These Walls Could Talk

September 23, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

In a few short months, I will be moving from a 1500 square-foot home in Columbus into a 10′ x 8′ bedroom in San Salvador. So, just about everything in my home, known to many as The Barbie Dream House, must go. Because I will be very blessed to live with Pastor Victor, his wife Silvia and their two children when I move to San Salvador, my list of necessities abroad is fairly short.

One of my best friends, Amanda, and her husband Josh offered to allow me to pair up with their annual neighborhood yard sale and sell all my “fabulous crap” this past weekend.

At first, the idea of purging all my material goods and basically starting over felt therapeutic. In my 30 years of life, I have collected quite a few things that, although they may represent an important memory, are mostly unneeded trinkets. And then there’s my wardrobe. I was more than happy to sacrifice my winter attire, but there were a number of miniskirts and dresses that faced some resistance and barely made it to the “SELL” box. And my shoe collection! Such beauty! But somehow, I just don’t think that 5″ stilettos added to my 5’10” frame will be my footwear of choice in Central America.

Into the “SELL” boxes went planters, photo frames, blankets, stuffed animals, an electric mixer, drinking glasses, champagne flutes, a pretzel costume, purses, a marching band plume, an assortment of bellybutton rings, three adult fleece onesies…and the list goes on. Into the Uhaul went my dining room table, kitchen table, coffee table (jeesh…how many tables does one girl need??), futon, a 6′ tall light fixture, a rug and an 8′ tall pink Christmas tree (like you’re surprised that I would have a 8′ tall pink Christmas tree).

FullSizeRender Finally, this past Saturday morning, a Uhaul and three SUV’s filled with my belongings descended upon Amanda and Josh’s yard. With the help of a number of friends, we survived the early morning birds, a few insistent hagglers, and a smattering yard sale crazies. The things that didn’t sell either went on the “FREE!” table or back in the Uhaul for better luck elsewhere.

I came home to my mostly empty house. But it didn’t actually feel empty – not yet. My bedroom still has the bed and dressers, and until last night, the living room still had a couch, ottoman, and television. The couch had been claimed by friends of friends and wasn’t getting picked up until three days after the yard sale – last night.

While I was out sharing my San Salvador story, a friend was at my home picking up my couch and ottoman. I knew that I would be coming home to an empty living room.

And that changed everything.

When you walk into my home, you walk into the living room. Stepping foot inside a room that was once filled with furniture and personal possessions, but was now empty, was a blow to my heart. As I walked into my house, the wind was knocked out of me and tears escaped without opposition.

This is getting real.

I am at 83% of my fundraising goal. Most likely, by mid-December, I will be headed to San Salvador indefinitely. I don’t know if I will ever be emotionally ready to go, but I am excited to get there and begin fulfilling God’s call on my life – working with Salvadoran youth. But along with that excitement comes true sadness. I am leaving the only life I have ever known behind. I am leaving my dad, my dog, and friends who have been my lifeline. I am leaving a home that has been my refuge in sorrow through the death of my mother and breakups too numbered to count; a home with walls that have seen joyful celebrations and know better than to repeat the secrets divulged within.

I may have said this before and I know I will say it again – this move is truly bittersweet. I am leaving a life that I have loved and nurtured for a life of the unknown. But the unknown is where I am called. I spent most of my 20s not knowing what I was supposed to be doing with my life and trying to figure it out for myself. But as soon as I turned it all over to God, He took control and spoke to my heart. For 15 months, I have known that I am meant to be serving the youth in San Salvador.

The great thing about hearts is that there is always room inside for more – more love, more memories, more God. These past eight years in The Barbie Dream House will forever have a place in my heart. With each passing day, more memories are brought to light, admired for the part they played in my life, and are gently tucked away in the folds of my heart. I eagerly await for the day when my heart swells with memories of a life lived loving God and loving His people. My home may be growing barer, but my heart is growing fuller.

Half-Grown Humans // Over-Filled Heart

August 28, 2015August 28, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

A year ago today, I followed what could only be a nudging from God and became a @rockcityouth leader.

August 28th, 2014: Rock City Youth Goes to Hillsong

Since then, I have watched our kids grow from intimidated newbies to seasoned Youth veterans. I have witnessed one of my girls go from classroom troublemaker to group-chat preacher. I have learned new ways to describe a first kiss and been privy to the maturing and strengthening of what was once a father/daughter relationship at risk. I have seen the sparks of best friendships ignited. I have listened to their tangible fears, wiped away tears and whispered words of affirmation into their ears. I have screamed at God when their hearts get broken and pleaded to Him for words of wisdom when my own words seemed weak and inconsequential.

I know that I have much to learn before I move to San Salvador. What I didn’t know was that God would be using His half-grown humans to do the teaching.

My Rock City 9th Graders…who are now 10th graders

My girl, Olivia

August 2015 Update

August 22, 2015September 8, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

Highlights

I got to hug some Salvadorans at Gabi & Victoria’s Wedding!
I spent a weekend getting FAT with my fellow Rock City Youth Leaders!
I now have robot eyes with lasers!
Everyone loves fried chicken. I love San Salvador. Let’s put ‘em together!
In the past 5 weeks, we have increased my regular support by 22%!

Hola Hola, amigos!

This past month has been awesomely busy! I’ve been having fun, finally enjoying our Ohio summer and persevering through my first few months of building up my San Salvador support team!

At the end of July, I got to go to Toledo, Ohio for the wedding of Gabriel and Victoria Valle! Gabi is a friend I met in San Salvador. He used to drive one of the vans that would take our mission team from the hotel to the Children’s Center in Guayabo and around the city in the evenings. When I met Gabi, I knew that he was learning English, but I didn’t quite know why. It turns out, for our driver extraordinaire, English was his language of love! Gabi was learning so that he could move to the US and marry Victoria, a beautiful woman he met while she was on a San Salvador mission trip! Their wedding was beautiful and it was a breath of fresh air to be able to see not just one Salvadoran friend, but TWO! Albi was able to come up for the wedding! I hugged her so tightly that I think all my friends in San Salvador could feel it!

The Rock City Youth leaders spent some time up at Indian Lake for a weekend of fellowship, silliness and learning. We are a “Student First” organization, but sometimes we need to focus on the friendships amongst the leaders and bond over s’mores and smiles. We started our days with leader-led lessons teaching us that FAT is beautiful! That is Faithful, Available and Teachable! We also reinforced that as followers of Christ and leaders of His half-grown humans, we must eliminate our “Say/Do Gap.” What we profess with our mouths must match what we do with our lives. Our afternoons were spent on the water of Indian Lake. I had the INSANE privilege of accompanying Youth Pastor Amanda for her first ever tube ride behind a jet boat! We had a blast, but were no match for the guys at the wheel! After a few hours of tubing, jet skiing and sunbathing, by starlight we sang worship songs to the Lord and giggled until sleep was inevitable.

It is a true blessing to live and learn alongside the leaders of Rock City Youth. Their hearts are on fire for teenagers and I will carry that fire in my own heart to San Salvador.

As of yesterday morning, I have robot eyes!!! Okay…not really, but after years of waiting and whining, I was able to receive Lasik eye surgery in both of my eyes yesterday! I have worn glasses since I was 3 years old and contacts since I was 13, and I am over it! Not only are contacts an expense I am excited to no longer have to pay, but more importantly, I am relieved that the eye issues that have plagued me at least once a year for the past 17 years will no longer be a problem! I want my time in San Salvador to be as healthy as possible, so avoiding the eye doctor is definitely exciting!

My vision is still a little blurry, but I am told that is normal and in the next week or so I will notice a drastic difference. Huzzah for modern technology!

Last week I had a fundraiser at a local Chick-fil-A restaurant! Waylon, the owner of that franchise is a fellow Rock City Church goer and was gracious enough to not only help set up the evening, but give a few lucky Rock City Youth kids a behind-the-scenes tour as well! By the end of the evening, Ashley’s Amigos helped to raise $100 towards my San Salvador Ministry! Ain’t nothin’ better than fried chicken for a mission!

As I continue on my support-raising path, God continues to affirm that I am on the right path – His path. Since I wrote you last, I have gone from 42% of my monthly goal raised to 64% raised! That’s a 22% increase in 5 weeks! Dios es bueno! God is good!

As I make phone calls and meet with people to share my story, I am continually in awe of people’s support and encouragement towards my ministry. The Bible reminds me that, “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.” Luke 1v4-5

I may have 99 problems, but knowing my purpose isn’t one!

The purpose of my life is to help make Heaven full, and God has appointed me to reach out my hands to the Youth of San Salvador.

I know that God will get me to San Salvador in His timing. Before I can begin to live out God’s calling on my life with the Youth of San Salvador, I must reach 100% of my support-raising goal. I have in my spirit a fire of urgency because my days on this earth are numbered and the Youth of San Salvador are at risk. By the age of 20, the statistic is that 20% of Salvadoran youth will have joined a gang. Please consider becoming a monthly partner in my Salvadoran ministry so that God can use me to make a change in this statistic. Many of us spend $20 a month on drinks at the local coffee shop. If just a handful of you commit that amount each month, I’ll be able to spend my days in Salvadoran coffee shops sharing Jesus with students who desperately need Him. Please consider giving. You can get set up in five minutes by going here: reliant.org/ashley.arend

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.

You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.
Psalm 39v4-5

Please Pray:

That our Rock City Youth students would be shining lights of God’s love as they go back to their respective schools
That the Salvadoran youth ministry (180 Juventud) would continue to reach the young people of their city
That God would give me perseverance to continue along His path towards San Salvador by continuing to open hearts and minds of the people I get to share my story with
I am able to check off the long list of logistics that must be completed before I can move!

be cheerful no matter what // what pray all the time // thank God no matter what happens.

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Push fear aside. Love.

August 18, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

Today, August 18th, 2015, would have been my mom’s 67th birthday if it were not for an enemy of her health, one that we all know much too familiarly. Cancer. Mom fought bravely through one round of it, but the second was just more than she could stand. Mom was exhausted. She was in pain. And based on the hundreds of people in attendance at her funeral, she had done enough.

As I progress through this adventure of moving to San Salvador for full-time youth ministry, I often wonder if my mom would be proud of me. Would a smile grace her cheeks as she revealed to someone that her daughter is moving to a foreign country to become a missionary? Would she brag to her closest friends, “Well, Ashley is hoping to leave in a few months for Central America to work with the teenagers there. She has such a gift for working with young people – she gets that from me, obviously!” Would her Facebook wall be covered in updates on my move and posts sharing my blog updates? (The woman learned to text T9 style on a flip phone. Facebook would have been no problem for her)

Would she be so scared for my safety that every conversation we had would somehow be themed around convincing me that I should not move to San Salvador and that I could be just as happy in Columbus and serve God just as thoroughly through Rock City Youth? Would she roll her eyes and change the subject everytime a friend brought up my impending departure? Would articles about the dangers of San Salvador await me at my place at the family dinner table?

I know that what my Father in Heaven thinks of my mission work supersedes what my family here in the world thinks. But I love making my parents proud. There have been few happier moments in my life than when I overhear my parents singing my praises to their friends and our family. Mom spent the entire day beaming with joy when we celebrated my college graduation. She was so proud when I got my first teaching job! I was following in her footsteps in the education field. But there have also been few moments as anxiety-filled as when I know I have let my mom down. Math tests often earned C’s, which led to tear-filled, “I SWEAR I studied!” phone calls in the middle school lobby. Quitting the high school rowing team mid-season was most certainly not an option because I had made a commitment to my team. My career in teaching went on as long as it did partly because when I considered quitting, the look on my mom’s face when I showed her my above average score on my teaching licensure exam has been emblazoned in the back of my memory.

My mother’s name was Lois, and in the Bible, a woman named Lois is only briefly mentioned once. It is in a letter from Paul, one of Jesus’ disciples, to Timothy, Paul’s closest friend.

I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. For God has not given us a spirit of cowardice and timidity, but of power, love, and self-control. {2 Timothy 1v5-7}

Lois and Eunice were a mother/daughter team raising Timothy to love and serve God. They succeeded in nurturing a young man who would grow up to build churches, strengthen the faith of new believers and take care of Paul’s needs while he was imprisoned in Rome.

As I spend today honoring my mom’s memory through smiles, laughter, and a few tears, I realize that she absolutely would be proud of me. Like the Lois of the bible, Mom was raising a child of God and “fanning into flames” my spiritual gift of ministering to teenagers. She would encourage me to be brave and to see this thing through with perseverance. I know without a doubt that she would also be scared out of her mind. I am going to a country she knew nothing about with people she had never met. Even so, Mom would set aside her fear of the unknown for the love of the unseen. She would rest on her most important lesson as a mother – loving another person, especially a young person, is one of the most important things a person can, and must, do.

That love has the ability to persuade a child to know that they are seen. They are not walking through life under a cloak of invisibility.

That love has the ability to sustain a teenage life for precious hours into years.

That love has the ability to demonstrate to a person that if I can see you and love you as much as I do, you can’t even begin to imagine how much your father in heaven loves you.

That love was Lois Elaine – my mom and my biggest admirer. Would she be proud?

Abso-freakin-lutely.

FullSizeRender — My first day of high school – 1999

Dear Ole Dad

August 16, 2015 Ashley Ramírez

All my life, I have been my daddy’s little girl. I am pretty sure my dad was my first best friend. He shared his Diet Coke with me, let me sit shotgun in his Bat Mobile (black Corvette), showed me how to love dogs because all they do is love us and put together every battery-operated toy Santa brought down the chimney. My dad has always found a way to provide for my each and every need – whether logical like a car and college tuition or possibly a little irrational like a giant waterbed suite, Dad was my ultimate provider.

I was a spoiled little girl. I can freely and proudly admit that. My parents waited years and years and went through the wringer of attempting to conceive before finally, in February 1985, they were told there was a month-old little girl waiting for them. I believe that because their wait was so long, my parents went above and beyond to see me smile.

In a few short months, I will be leaving the US for San Salvador, El Salvador where I will be using what I have been given, both financially and spiritually, to support and inspire their youth. As excited and anxious as I am to get there, I am also a little nervous. For the first time in my entire life, I will be more than 90 minutes away from my dad for longer than 3 weeks. The man who has always been my knight in shining armor will no longer be able to swoop in and fix my problems when they arise. When money gets tight, I will be relying on my Father in Heaven to provide, not my father on earth. This is scary.

Last weekend, on August 9th, Dad celebrated his 66th birthday! Feliz cumpleaños, Papa! All he wanted for his birthday was to be surrounded by people he loves. So he bought a giant stack full of meal tickets at the St. James Lutheran Bratwurst Festival and treated his closest friends and family to a delicious meal.

Guys, I can’t remember the last time I ate so well. My plate was full to the point of using nearby tablecloth space as overflow. I scarfed down a bratwurst and a mound of sauerkraut. I chomped corn on the cob like a typewriter in desperate need of Ritalin. And last but not least, with grace and respect, I demolished an entire apple dumpling covered in maple syrup.

I will miss these dinners with Dad. His home cooked dinners have always been one of favorite weekly traditions. I will miss holding his hand as we pray over our meal. I will miss begging him not to give Dewey so much food from the table. I will miss pleading for him to “STOP! DAD! That’s enough! I’ll never eat that much!” And I will miss my weekly summertime post-dinner comas on his beautiful back porch.

In a few short months, weekly updates with Dad will be given over internet videochats and our love will be shared over the airwaves. Not seeing him every week will take some getting used to, but it is because of my “dear, ole dad” that I have an ounce of the courage it is taking me to leave the comfortable and familiar for the unexpected and unknown. Watching my dad get up before dawn almost every day of the year (holidays included, much to my frustration) and go to work to provide for his family instilled in me a work ethic I truly did not believe I had until just a few weeks ago. With my dad’s example to guide me, I have been working harder than ever before to make my way to San Salvador and fulfil my calling. But the greatest thing Dad has ever done for me has been to give me his heart. Because my dad has spent the past 30 years filling my life and soul with love, my heart is overflowing and oh-so-ready to pour into the lives and souls of the Salvadoran youth.

My dad was definitely my first best friend and whether we are ten or thousands of miles apart, he will continue to fill my life with his love. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he found a way to send one of his famous New York Strip Steaks my way. He’s pretty clever like that.