Journal

#ashley&amanda

God’s timing is often confusing.

I don’t know why some prayers are answered immediately (like the time a few nights ago when I bumped a car parked on the street – I examined the damage and realized I didn’t just bump it, but scraped the entire driver’s door! LORD! Please let this car owner be graceful and merciful with me! Turns out, that scrape had been there for months. I hadn’t actually done ANY damage to the car!)

Some prayers take a little longer to work out (Last August I begged, Lord, get me to San Salvador AHORITA! NOW! God will get me there, but this year has been so amazing. I wouldn’t have spent it anywhere else, other than Columbus, Ohio)

And some prayers just don’t ever get answered (Lord, my mom is a good woman. She has life to live. I have life to live with her! Take this cancer! Mom passed away almost 5 years ago. I know God has His reasons, and I trust him, but I haven’t quite figured them out yet.)

And sometimes I get answers to prayers I never prayed.

Amanda is the Youth Pastor at Rock City Church. I am a 9th Grade Girls Leader. Over the past year, Amanda has become possibly one of my closest and truest friends. She honestly gets me. And when she doesn’t, she just smiles, shakes her head, and says, “I love you.”

I don’t know why God brought such an influential, imperative person into my life when He knew I would only have a short time with her before jetting off to San Salvador to live out His call on my life. But I am blessed by every day I get to spend in the midwest with Amanda. She has taught me how to love teenagers, even when they’re crazy idiots (which is most of the time). She has shown me how to love and be loved by the people around me that might not always understand me, but love me just the same. She has taught me the importance of holding teenager’s feet to the flame, pushing them to look inside themselves and come out stronger, more faithful and more independent.

I could go on, but at this moment, I am late (story of my life. I’m on that El Salvador time) for birthday dinner with my best girl, the Harry to my Ron.

“Go in peace! The two of us have vowed friendship in GOD ’s name, saying, ‘GOD will be the bond between me and you, and between my children and your children forever!’” // 1 Samuel‬ ‭20‬:‭42‬

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Ashley’s Amigos

God is so good. SO GOOD. He continues to bring faithful believers and supporters to my side. Day by day God is fulfilling His promise to get me to San Salvador and do great, big things in and through me.

These are the awesome people who have come alongside me in my journey to San Salvador! Please pray and thank God for them as they give sacrificially towards God’s work in San Salvador!

Prayer works.

ashley_blog-prayer_worksA little over a week ago, on Monday night, I flew to Orlando, Florida for a week of New Staff Training at Reliant Missions (the organization formerly known as Great Commission Ministries) HQ. I spent 8am-9pm each day learning about Reliant policies, health benefits, retirement plans and how to share my vision of what God is doing in San Salvador through me.

This had every potential to be incredibly stressful and overwhelming.

But prayer works. In the weeks leading up to the training, I knew the potential for complete emotional, professional and spiritual anxiety, so I beat Satan to the punch and asked for prayer. I asked my Youth co-leaders to pray. I asked my LifeGroup bible study to pray. I asked my best friends to pray. I asked Dewey to pray.

And it worked. I was saturated every day with information imperative to my success as an international missionary. I became a sponge and soaked it all in. I know that I am working in God’s will because I worked harder over the past week than I have in all of my past 5 years of teaching. Through the hours of hard work and hundreds of informational PowerPoints, I never once became overwhelmed. At the end of the weeklong training, I knew what had to be done and I knew how to do it. I just wanted to get started.

My Prayer Warriors’ work isn’t finished!

Now that I am back home in Columbus, I am hitting the ground running. My life now consists of phone calls to set up appointments, appointments to build my Ministry Team, Rock City Youth to keep me fresh and cool, my Premier Designs business to finance my life once my teaching paychecks cease and whatever else gets thrown into the mix. NOW is the time when overwhelmation and stress can bring me down. But my eyes are on Jesus and “that exhilarating finish in and with God.” Jesus has done what I am doing. He has run towards God, bringing everyone with him. He never lost sight of where he was headed and tolerated everything along the way. {Hebrews 12:1-3 MSG} I believe in a Savior who understands my anxiety because he has experienced the same anxiety firsthand.

My plea for my Prayer Warriors is that they would ask God that I remember His son’s example and run this race without fear and without exhaustion. This is God’s plan and nothing can get in the way of its completion. I need only a mustard seed of faith.

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! {Luke 1:45}

With God as my strength and the Salvadoran Youth as my motivation, I will not tire.

Look up there ➶ At the top of the page, I have added a “Devotions” section to the site! This is where you will find my ministry prayer requests & praises! Join the Prayer Warrior Tribe!

June 2015

Prayer Requests

  •  I am able to retain all the knowledge and skills I was taught at New Staff Training
  • God will prepare the hearts and minds of the people with whom I share my vision and passion for San Salvador.
  • A God-given sense of serenity in this time of hard work. It will be very easy for me to become stressed and overwhelmed by phone call and appointments for my missionary work, Rock City Youth commitments, my Premier Designs business and all the other unexpected snags life inevitably throws my way. But I know that I am running on God’s path for my life, so the work is not only imperative, but necessary and a divine privilege.
  • Pray for Josué. Josué is a 17-year-old boy in San Salvador. I met him last summer at Colegio Ceren. His past is riddled with challenges. He is truly looking for the  path that leads to salvation and I feel that he is so close. I received an update on him today from Ali, my best friend who is currently interning in San Salvador. She said that she spoke with him and that he is currently living in a church and working on the streets juggling. (This is a very common livelihood for people living in poverty in San Salvador) Ali said that he looks very skinny and not as healthy as he did a year ago. But he IS in school and living in A CHURCH, so those are both blessings. Please pray that Josué would stumble towards Christ and find his happy ending there.

PRAISE!

  • God is doing amazing things already. Look here to see the amazing & faithful people that are now a part of Team Ashley! ➳ Ashley’s Amigos!

 

I Have Agreed to Go.

ashley_blog-i_have_agreedThis past Friday, May 29th, 2015, was my last day as a classroom teacher. Now, when people ask me what I do for a job, I can say, “I am training to be a full-time missionary in San Salvador!” My 5 years in education are ones that I will hold in my heart as some of the most challenging times of my life. Will I miss teaching? Maybe someday. Today, I thank God for every second in the classroom because each day I spent teaching was a day closer to discovering God’s true call on my life and I will never regret any of it.

Unfortunately, my heart was never in teaching students inside a classroom. I am sure that anyone that worked in a school with me could see that. I have known for a few years now that teaching was not my passion. But I didn’t know what was. And I wasn’t about to quit a good paying job with 2 weeks Christmas break, 1 week off in the spring and 3 months of summer vacation unless I had figured out what I was really created to do.

Last summer, I took a step of faith and spent 9 days in San Salvador on a mission trip with my church, Rock City. In was then that I felt God’s call on my life and heard His whisper in my heart that I was to go to San Salvador, strengthen their youth and point them towards Him. Since then, I have found my heart in mentoring teenagers in a way that doesn’t require essays or novels. Anyone who has spent just a few moments watching me work with youth outside the classroom can see that is where I come alive!

The past 5 years were certainly not a waste. I truly believe that God takes all of our life circumstances and, if we let Him, uses them for our good and for His glory. Each of my days in the classroom was a day of training for Youth Ministry in San Salvador. I have worked with some of the most frustrating students in the city. And now, none of them scares me or can begin to convince me that they don’t have potential and purpose. I have worked with some of the sweetest students in the city. And now, I know how to cover them with God’s love and teach them how to love others. I have been cussed at with language I wouldn’t have ever used as a teenager. I now know their foul words are simply a sword defending a broken heart. I have been surrounded by successful, passionate and dedicated teachers that have gone out of their way to support me. They have shown me the importance of building up those around me and giving grace to people who want to help, but just need some guidance.

3 days later, I am now sitting on the floor of the Port Columbus International Airport. I am patiently awaiting my delayed flight to Orlando for 8 days of intense fundraising training with Reliant Ministries (formerly Great Commission Ministries). I am excited to finally have many of my questions about fundraising answered (namely, exactly how much I have to raise), but I also anticipate many anxiety-riddled moments, questioning just what I have agreed to do.

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I have agreed to follow God’s call. I have agreed to trust that money is the least of God’s problems. I have agreed to go.

In my moments of overwhelmation (that should seriously be a word), I will remember why I agreed to those things. Because life outside of God’s will is no life at all. Believe me. I’ve tried it the other way. I will recite to myself God’s promise to me:

I have made you and

I will carry you;

I will sustain you and

I will rescue you.

Today is a giant step towards my new life in San Salvador. I leave the comfort of knowing exactly what is ahead for me and exchange it for taking step after step in blind faith. God will get me to San Salvador. It might not be in my timing or within my plan, but He will do it.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

#GOALS

ashley_blog-goalsJune through August are months for sunning poolside, coffee & a good book on a warm, quiet morning and the sounds of an Ohio summer tiptoeing through my open windows at night. Summer is meant for relaxing and rejuvenating.

But not this summer.

This summer, I’ve got GOALS. Sure, I will engage in purposeful relaxation and rejuvenate my soul for my upcoming Salvadorian adventure, but there is work to be done. A few short months ago, I was looking to June 2015 saying to myself, Okay, there is much to be done before  I can move, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I will worry about those bridges when I get to them.

Well, my friends, those bridges are within eyesight and I need to prepare myself to cross them.

• SUMMER GOALS 2015  ➳

I have a big, bold prayer to be moved to San Salvador by the end of December 2015. Yeah. That’s THIS year. Great Commission Ministries (GCM), my missionary employer, requires that I fundraise a year’s worth of my salary before I can move. Don’t ask me how much that is because as of today, I have zero clue. I go to training in Orlando June 1-8 and it is there where I will learn my yearly salary and exactly how much money I must raise before I leave. The Salvadorian Youth go to a conference in Honduras every December and I believe going with them would be an amazing start to my ministry. I also get to spend 4 weeks in beautiful Colorado for culture training in September. But before I can register for this training, I must raise 80% of my funds.  If this big, bold prayer is going to happen, I need God’s big, bold hands all over my fundraising efforts. Challenge accepted.

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There was a time in my life when I found very few reasons worth getting out of bed in the morning. My mom had recently died from endometrial cancer and my heart was broken. I knew God was there and loved me, but I needed a visible, tangible reason to dry my tears and put my feet on the ground.

Enter in Dewey.

Dewey is my 4-year-old Boston Terrier. He is my best friend in all definitions of the term. He wants to hang out when everyone else is busy, dries my tears with his cuddles and comforts my soul with his eyes. Dewey is there when my humans aren’t and loves me when my humans can’t.

The little man deserves a few carefree, mud-covered, butt-sniffing hours at the park each week.

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This time last year, I was ripped. I had dedicated my life to various, fun, creative ways of exercising and my friends were part of the experience. Whether we were doing yoga on paddleboards, running races dressed as pretzels or kickboxing in downtown Columbus, most of my social activities somehow involved working out.

And then I got involved at Rock City Church. Suddenly my priorities changed and I wanted to contribute to the church just as much as I was consuming. Evening yoga classes were replaced with Youth Leadership meetings, volunteering to serve at multiple church services replaced Sunday afternoon Bootcamp, and my beloved Wednesday evening outdoor Kickboxing & Hip Hop classes in the heart of the city were swallowed whole by Rock City Youth Nights.

I am happy about my life’s new focus, but I definitely miss seeing my friends everyday and the feeling of accomplishment after a good sweat session. I don’t know if I will ever be able to go back to my 6+ workouts per week, but I would like to get back into the gym, see the people I love and share in the gratifying pain of growing solid muscle. Plus, I will need a break from the full-time work of fundraising. If I am to put my body, spirit and soul through the intense life change God has planned for me, my spirit and soul need to be healthy and my body needs to be ready to kick butt and take names for Jesus at a moment’s notice.

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My father has always been my #1 supporter. I love my dad more than my limited English language allows me to say. He and I have had our peaks and valleys, but at the end of the day, I am my daddy’s girl and I am going to miss him grieviously.

Very soon, I will not be able to call on Dad to dog-sit Dewey, change a hard to reach light bulb, or answer one of the hundreds of questions I have weekly about how to be a grown-up. In a few short months, we will only be able to see one another through a computer screen. I am grateful for the blessing of technology, but it will not be the same as seeing his giant smile, smelling his delicious, home cooked spaghetti sauce or throwing my arms around his broad shoulders.

I want to take every opportunity possible to spend quality time with my dad before our kitchen chairs are pushed thousands of miles apart.

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“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

So now I have goals. As each day passes, I realize more and more that nothing I do or hope to do is possible without God’s intervention. God provided financial and prayerful supporters who enabled me to go to San Salvador TWICE last summer. Because of those visits, I was able to hear God’s call for my life and fall in love with a country and people that will forever be a part of me. God provided time in my schedule to complete GCM’s extensive and intense application. And God is daily providing patience and perseverance to strengthen me until I can actually make my move south.

The most important relationship I have is the one I have with God. He calms my anxieties, celebrates my successes and provides for my every need. Just like any relationship, it requires spending quality time together. It has been my goal since June of last year and will continue to be my daily goal for the rest of my life to become closer God by daily spending time with Him in His Word. The days when I am most busy and can’t possibly squeeze one more thing into my schedule are the days when I will need Him the most.

Many people look to summer as a time kick back and throw away their To-Do list. But not me. The next few months will be spent turning my To-Do List into a To-DONE List.

#CRUSHINGit

Alone Together

ashley_blog-alone_togetherAbout 2 months ago, my friend Annie was telling me how exasperated she had become with her unending duties at home and responsibilities at church. She tackles these tasks with grace and thanksgiving, but she was feeling discontent with the lack of checkmarks appearing on her spiritual to-do list.

“I just need to get away, by myself for a few days to pray, read my Bible, read my books…do all that stuff that has been put off for weeks now!”

I not only agreed that sounded like a fantastic idea, but insisted that Annie let me come along.

“But, if you’re with me, I won’t be alone! And that’s the whole point!”

After a brief moment of convincing her that I needed the same sort of retreat, we came to the compromise that we would go together, but be alone once we were there.

“There” was Deer Creek Lodge in Mount Sterling, Ohio. Only about 45 minutes outside of Columbus, Deer Creek is a little piece of nature not too far from home.

Our 24 Hours of Refueling began on a Friday morning with breakfast and enough coffee to fuel a tank engine. It should be noted for anyone reading who might someday want to make coffee for Annie or I, we aren’t particular about our coffee, but our creamer…you better have the good stuff. (Annie has taught me to pack my own creamer when traveling to San Salvador!)

We arrived at Deer Creek around noon, checked into our separate rooms and claimed our spots at opposite ends of the perfectly scenic patio. My time was spent finishing Loveology by John Mark Comer. This book is AMAZING. I don’t care who you are or where you are in your dating life (or lack thereof!) – READ. THIS. BOOK. I basically underlined every line and wrote either “AMEN!” “PREACH!” or “MMMHMM…” on every other page. This book tackles why we should even bother getting married when the divorce rate in the US hangs at 50%, how to find “The One,” (hint: he/she is probably waiting for you next to a unicorn. i.e., as cool as it might be if they did, they don’t exist.), and why marriage is truly the best place for a sexual relationship (it’s not just because Jesus said so). Plus, Comer breaks down love and all its components into the original Greek. Nerds, rejoice.

After a few hours of solitude, I had finished Loveology and it was time for our Debriefing Dinner. We enjoyed a delicious dinner at the Lodge Restaurant, discussed what we had been learning and decided leaving the Lodge for a bit for ice cream was beyond necessary for more refueling.

Annie and I stumbled upon The Dairy Freeze in town and devoured our ice cream sundae and peanut butter chocolate shake (respectively). When we had about polished off our desserts, two neighborhood boys came in for a Friday night treat. I smiled to myself as the boys deliberated on whether or not they had enough money for two ice creams with sprinkles. I drifted into memories of rollerblading (oh, the 90s) to Rax fast food restaurant with my childhood best friend Sarah. We would each order curly fries with cheese, scoot to our favorite summer hideout and eat every fry and lick the cheese cup clean. Needless to say, the boys were 7 cents short and I got to treat them to extra sprinkles – it was Friday after all! Everyone deserves extra sprinkles on Friday! One of the boys thanked me kindly and assured me that the next time he saw me in town, he would “buy me something nice.” I told him I was only visiting and he should pay the sprinkles forward.

We returned to the Lodge where Annie and I sat together (but alone!) in front of a beautiful fireplace for our individual evening sessions. I began my new book, As You Wish, by Mercy Lokulutu. I have yet to finish this book, but so far, I love it. Mercy references the movie The Princess Bride when she points out that when we tell God, “As you wish,” we are really surrendering and professing, “I love you, God.” She talks about true surrender to God and why avoiding it could be possibly fatal. We had one more reprieve from solitude for 20 minutes in the hot tub…ahhhhh…..and then back to the fireplace! Serious coziness.

The next morning started with feeding the resident stray cats, more reading and LOTS more coffee. We departed the lodge and stopped in town for breakfast and pie. Yup. Pie was part of breakfast. As it always should be.

I wish I could have a 3-day weekend every week for an escape like this. I was able to chat with God uninterrupted, soak up words of wisdom from two Godly inspired authors, and hear my own thoughts for longer than 30 seconds at a time. Even though our time refueling was short, I returned home with a refreshed spirit, a peaceful mind and God’s own words whispered in my heart.

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Answer.

ashley_blog-answerGod knows me so well. He knows my strengths (outgoing, determined, singing off key with abandon) and he knows my weaknesses (patience, control freak, singing off key with abandon). These past few weeks, He has been beefing up my patience muscle.

On April 2nd, 2015, I completed the final step in the arduous application process for Great Commission Ministries (GCM), the company that will be sending me as a missionary to Sal Salvador. This final step was a phone interview with Cori, a GCM employee specializing in International Missions. At the start of the conversation, Cori let me know that GCM would inform me of their hiring decision around April 20th. This was 18 days, almost three weeks later. Okay Patience. Time to show ’em what we’ve got! I told her that was fine, as long as I had time to register for the June New Employee training by the April 30th deadline.

26 days later, with patience just about parched and anxiety fully settled in, I heaved my trust onto God. He will supply me with what I need, when I need it. BUT GOD, IT’S ALMOST THE 30TH, I NEED IT NOOOOOW! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING UP THERE?! My mantra became “Mustard seed of faith…I just need a tiny mustard seed of faith…”

With 48 hours to spare before the registration deadline, I received my job offer at 11:56pm on April 28th.

Guys. I’M GOING TO SAN SALVADOR!


 

San Salvador? Really? Where is that exactly? South America, right? Is it miserably hot there? Does anyone there speak English?

Why do you have to go all the way THERE to do mission work when there’s work to be done in your own backyard?

I concede that moving to San Salvador to be a full-time missionary doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. My family and friends are here. My job is here. I’ve earned the trust and precious relationships with a handful of Rock City Youth girls here. I don’t speak much Spanish. San Salvador is dangerous. And if I want to do good work for God, why do I have to leave the country to do it? Why can’t I just stay in the US and serve my own country?

Because of childlike wonder.

Because of little girl giggles.

Because of the fire and potential of a generation.

Because when God calls, you answer. As I stood on the futbol field of Colegio Ceren in June 2014, I knew God was calling me there. I have always known that I was made for more than teaching in a classroom, but I couldn’t figure out what. It was at that moment that I heard God’s gentle, but stern whisper. San Salvador Youth.  4 years of teaching and 7 years of church-hopping had led me to that place. God finally had my attention.

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It is absolutely true that there is much work to be done in the city of Columbus, my home. But just because my hometown youth need a little TLC doesn’t mean that God has called me to stay here. To some, he instructs to stay.

If you stay in this land, I will build you up and not tear you down; I will plant you and not uproot you.. {Jeremiah 42:10}

To others, He commands to get up and go.

And He said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” {Luke 7:14 NKJV}

I am a believer in Christ and as such, I am required to follow Him. I have spent too many years of my life not following Christ and I am done wasting my time. It is my time to rise and follow. In the words of Christine Caine, I am “the church of Jesus Christ on the earth today, the visible representation of an invisible God. I have the Holy Spirit living within me and have been commissioned to shine His love in the midst of a dark world.”

As a missionary to San Salvador, my heart beats for God’s people. I will run into the darkness and shine Christ’s light. My arms are open to the poor because Jesus tells us “…whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” {Matthew 25:40}

Above all, I am a Missionary to San Salvador because I am Jesus’ hands and feet here on Earth. He has entrusted me with the divine responsibility of loving and caring for His people. For the first time in my life, I know for certain that this is what God wants from me and I am living out the purpose for which He created me.

When God calls, you must answer.

I answered and I am going.

If I proclaim the Message, it’s not to get something out of it for myself.

I’m compelled to do it and doomed if I don’t!  {1 Corinthians 9:16 (MSG)}


As for when I am going, that is to be determined. I must go to 2 trainings and raise my financial support before I can go anywhere. MY bold prayer is to be there by the end of December, in time for Infinito, a Youth Conference in Honduras that the San Salvador Youth attend every year. I think that could be an amazing and powerful way to start my ministry. I realize that if that happens, it will be all God’s doing. But all things, especially those beyond my wildest imagination, are possible with God.